Teaching communication skills and drama might help shy children overcome social anxiety
In a world where vibrant personality and a glib tongue are largely considered to be stepping stones to success, the going gets rather difficult for a shy child. Introverts are usually harangued for not being outgoing or not engaging socially as much as the others, and are somehow made to feel deficient vis-a-vis the others.
And this approach taken by parents and teachers, say experts, do a lot of harm. "Introversion is an important personality trait characterised as being reserved and reflective. Introverts are comfortable doing things by themselves and don't feel the need for constant interaction with others, and is a desirable personality trait for many occupations. Attempting to change this trait in a child could be harmful to the child's psychological development," felt renowned city psychologist Neville Misquitta.
Agreed Mahrukh Bharucha, who is a veteran teacher of communication skills and drama through her training institutes Expressions Unlimited! and Club English: "More often than not, shy children are just nature's way of providing the world with good listeners. Unless there is some behavioural problem that is leading to negative shyness, parents and teachers should accept shyness as a cute characteristic feature and stop creating anxiety around the child by constantly mentioning the shyness as if is some terrible disease."
TEAM PLAY: However, excessively shy children might need a little help to help them navigate better in a communicationcentric world. And teaching communication skills, and especially, drama go a long way to help them reach out to others.
Said Bharucha, "No gadget or software in the world can help you to have a conversation, participate in group discussions or answer interviews. You have to do that all by yourself and can only depend on the language and communication skills learned beforehand."
Role play, felt Misquitta, is a very effective method to deal with excessive social anxiety. "Role play should be directed at equipping the child with tools to interact in social situations. The aim is not to eradicate the introversion, but to help the child cope with situations they are not able to handle comfortably," he explained.
Bahrucha recommended fun group activities, which she feels work wonders to melt a shy child's resistance. "All of us feel secure in a pack. Individuals and individual learning benefit the most from group and team work. After the initial stumbling block, the shy ones too start participating in imaginative activities, do voice and speech exercises and become a part of the team," she said.
Pune-based Swadha School (a Waldorf Learning Centre), which practises alternative education methods, also introduces little ones to listening to stories, puppetry, singing with gestures and free imaginative play — all part of group activities. "If children are allowed to grow this way till the appearance of second dentition, a lot of their shyness, hesitation and fear/ pressure of disappointing the adults/ audience are not given birth to. By the time they reach the age of seven, their natural talents come to the forefront," said Shefali Kosta, founder, Waldorf Learning Centre. Eurhythmy (an expressive performance art used as a tool in education) is a big part of their curriculum as it helps children lose inhibitions thereby increasing their confidence naturally.
NO QUICK FIXES: Bharucha shared the story of a student who had struggled with stammering, stage fear and acute shyness for years. She, along with her teachers, plodded on until last year when he scored a distinction in Grade 8 (gold medal) in the international LAMDA exams in public speaking. "He boldly walked out of the exam hall and proudly declared, 'Ma'am, today I'm telling you that it doesn't matter what my marks are. My speeches were flawless and I feel like a winner now — so the results will just be a number!' We all had to claim a sudden allergy attack to explain the watery eyes!" she laughed.
Patience, she insisted is the key as change does not happen overnight. "Short term courses, quick fix sessions, indeed any shortcuts are just a flash in the pan," she asserted.
Parents also need to work hand in hand with the child to help them overcome social anxiety. "Have a clear picture of what your child should be doing in a particular situation and then rehearse at home. Make it fun and like a game. Set up a few signals or prompts so that attention is not drawn to the child's discomfort in the process. And as always — praise any improvement liberally," advised Misquitta.
Guide 'em right
♦ Some simple steps — and oodles of patience — can help a little one overcome excessive shyness
♦ Do not label them or constantly compare them with others
♦ Highlight their strengths
♦ Rehearse social situations
♦ Ensure a lot of outdoor playtime in groups
♦ Group activities like role play, music, or dance go a long way to shed inhibitions
In a world where vibrant personality and a glib tongue are largely considered to be stepping stones to success, the going gets rather difficult for a shy child. Introverts are usually harangued for not being outgoing or not engaging socially as much as the others, and are somehow made to feel deficient vis-a-vis the others.
And this approach taken by parents and teachers, say experts, do a lot of harm. "Introversion is an important personality trait characterised as being reserved and reflective. Introverts are comfortable doing things by themselves and don't feel the need for constant interaction with others, and is a desirable personality trait for many occupations. Attempting to change this trait in a child could be harmful to the child's psychological development," felt renowned city psychologist Neville Misquitta.
Agreed Mahrukh Bharucha, who is a veteran teacher of communication skills and drama through her training institutes Expressions Unlimited! and Club English: "More often than not, shy children are just nature's way of providing the world with good listeners. Unless there is some behavioural problem that is leading to negative shyness, parents and teachers should accept shyness as a cute characteristic feature and stop creating anxiety around the child by constantly mentioning the shyness as if is some terrible disease."
TEAM PLAY: However, excessively shy children might need a little help to help them navigate better in a communicationcentric world. And teaching communication skills, and especially, drama go a long way to help them reach out to others.
Said Bharucha, "No gadget or software in the world can help you to have a conversation, participate in group discussions or answer interviews. You have to do that all by yourself and can only depend on the language and communication skills learned beforehand."
Role play, felt Misquitta, is a very effective method to deal with excessive social anxiety. "Role play should be directed at equipping the child with tools to interact in social situations. The aim is not to eradicate the introversion, but to help the child cope with situations they are not able to handle comfortably," he explained.
Bahrucha recommended fun group activities, which she feels work wonders to melt a shy child's resistance. "All of us feel secure in a pack. Individuals and individual learning benefit the most from group and team work. After the initial stumbling block, the shy ones too start participating in imaginative activities, do voice and speech exercises and become a part of the team," she said.
Pune-based Swadha School (a Waldorf Learning Centre), which practises alternative education methods, also introduces little ones to listening to stories, puppetry, singing with gestures and free imaginative play — all part of group activities. "If children are allowed to grow this way till the appearance of second dentition, a lot of their shyness, hesitation and fear/ pressure of disappointing the adults/ audience are not given birth to. By the time they reach the age of seven, their natural talents come to the forefront," said Shefali Kosta, founder, Waldorf Learning Centre. Eurhythmy (an expressive performance art used as a tool in education) is a big part of their curriculum as it helps children lose inhibitions thereby increasing their confidence naturally.
NO QUICK FIXES: Bharucha shared the story of a student who had struggled with stammering, stage fear and acute shyness for years. She, along with her teachers, plodded on until last year when he scored a distinction in Grade 8 (gold medal) in the international LAMDA exams in public speaking. "He boldly walked out of the exam hall and proudly declared, 'Ma'am, today I'm telling you that it doesn't matter what my marks are. My speeches were flawless and I feel like a winner now — so the results will just be a number!' We all had to claim a sudden allergy attack to explain the watery eyes!" she laughed.
Patience, she insisted is the key as change does not happen overnight. "Short term courses, quick fix sessions, indeed any shortcuts are just a flash in the pan," she asserted.
Parents also need to work hand in hand with the child to help them overcome social anxiety. "Have a clear picture of what your child should be doing in a particular situation and then rehearse at home. Make it fun and like a game. Set up a few signals or prompts so that attention is not drawn to the child's discomfort in the process. And as always — praise any improvement liberally," advised Misquitta.
Guide 'em right
♦ Some simple steps — and oodles of patience — can help a little one overcome excessive shyness
♦ Do not label them or constantly compare them with others
♦ Highlight their strengths
♦ Rehearse social situations
♦ Ensure a lot of outdoor playtime in groups
♦ Group activities like role play, music, or dance go a long way to shed inhibitions
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